...............That I Might Know Him More ............

Monday is going to be big

2010-07-15T22:16:00.000-07:00

Pleaase pray for ths monday its going to be a very hard day for me I cant give any details but I'm will be doing somrthing nobudy shoul have to do.......more to come latter thanks for your prayers.

NOW NO

2010-02-24T19:55:00.000-08:00

I am free,

but free from what?

the comdamnation of past sins.

Romance 8:1

There is therefore now no comdemnation to themwhich are in Chris Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

WOW! its been a long time seance I have been able to update this . As you All might of assumed I a was in Jail I got sentence on Oct 22 for 180 days but I only had to serve 110 for good time, its been a learning experience for me as I steeped forward a few steeps and back several more. but you live you learn, but also you refuse to let God work you are sure to fall back and I Had a mistake and went home instead of going to work and cough another charge leave without auth. so I know this Is a big disappointment to you all And I am truly sorry , But in it I have seen Gods work in servile ways I was able to mend a broken friendship (one that was broke at work release) Any way I also home to meet with the lady the conducts Bible Study in the jail so maybe this is just a blessing in disguise?

I want to thank you all for your prayer support.

Court......

2009-10-16T19:24:00.000-07:00

Please Pray for my date its On Thurs Oct.22 Is sentencing Its hard to keep going but I make it Only by His Grace...... Let it be what God wants it to be I have a prefrence But its all up to Him He know best.

SORRY! havent written in a while.....

2009-10-07T17:10:00.000-07:00

Well I have been doing ok I was in the hospital for about 4 months back in FEB to and Got out in June 10 and moved into my new home the 20th and have been doing ok seance. I am starting at the Cab Co. asap training now but will be starting up in Nov.

I have My last court appearance on the 22 of this month it is sentencing I will most likey get probation but I could get 1 to 5 yrs in York which is the state Penn for females.

Please be praying I stand my ground and Do what is required of me, I have gotten off track and just git back on again. But God is so Good to me I am so amazed at what God can do out of such a mess

So, I was searching the web and this is what I found.......

2009-02-27T19:53:00.000-08:00

Fighting To Survive :Building 429
Crying on the inside and it cuts me deep‘Cause I know you’re gonna smile when I fallI can’t help but feel the fear when I’m standing here‘Cause I know you’re gonna laugh if I have to crawlCan you see the desperation?But you don’t know my situation‘Cause I, I’m fighting to surviveCan’t you see it in my eyes?Please don’t push me anymoreBut I, I’m still fighting to believeThat there is hope for meSomewhere beneath the very least of theseAnd I can’t help but feel ashamed when I know the truthThat there was more than I surmised inside your heartI want to make it go away but you bear the proofMy words burnt through your skin and left you scarredI didn’t see the desperation; somehow I didn’t see your situationBecause I’ve been fighting to surviveI didn’t see it in your eyesBut I won’t hurt you anymoreAnd I, I’m fighting to believeThat there is hope for meSomewhere beneath the least of these

So I'll let the fog in my mind fade and hopefully, I will Survive.

OK ....

2009-02-10T00:41:00.000-08:00

OK , so I was thinking about our times past and what would have been, and all the what abouts, what ifs, and how comes of my life as well as others in my life, and wishing oh how much I could change all of my mistakes, all of the "bad" things that I have had happened to me, and the results of them, maybe my life would be different, maybe it would be better, or worse I don't know,But the one thing I do know is trials made me better off . At the time and for a long time after some of my hardest times I wish they would never have happened but as I look back on the lessons I have learned, the people I have Met, and the closer I get to God, they have all been worth the pain, And if i had the chance to go back and change them I don't thank I would , although I would take away the pain I have caused others away if I could. Then its now the time is now I can't change what is or what would be but now I can change now.
So here I am making another for the last time, you and I both know its not!,but anyway,I have come to find out if I didn't have the bad times I wouldn't know what a good time would be. So to all you who are thinking life sucks, it may and I am sure you all have bad days but lets keep on going together, and when the sun shows its face the maybe tomorrow will be a good day.

His Mercy Is Awesome!!!

2009-01-15T22:37:00.001-08:00

His Mercy Is Awesome!!!

Ok, I know you all are wondering whats been going on with me and my walk with Christ, I know this because of the countless emails so here's the news.

As you all know I was to be released from Seward Jail in September of 2008 But to my surprise and to yours as well I Also had an outstanding warrant In Saline, Ks so yes, I was not released but transferred to Saline Co. Jail. I was there for 105 days, and was released on probation (Prise The Lord For His Mercy endured forever!!!!!!!) I should of been sent to Prison for what I Did (if you don't know, I cashed some stolen money orders) But God Is merciful. and of course then I had a warrant out in Lincoln because I missed court in Oct. so on January 9th I was brought back to Lincoln and on the 12th my bound was reinstated and I'm am now at Home,with my parents!
WOW what a difference 8 months makes. This has been a hard week adjusting back to somewhat normal life. Its been about 5 days and sometimes I still don't believe I am home. My first few nights I would wake up and Look around just to see if i was still at home.

I Do want to thank you all for your prayers, thoughts ,letters,cards,and love it means so much to me I do not know how to express my gratitude to you all.

A special thanks to the Larsens, for always accepting my phone calls and loaning a shoulder for me to cry on, an ear for me to talk off and a heart of love for Christ and others.as well as cumming to my court date. You are truly someone who has lived out your faith and helped me become stronger in mine. Thank you with all of my Heart .

I love you all ,and hope to see you all soon ( I am excited to meet some and become better acquainted )

Back in busniess...sort of

2008-07-08T16:09:00.000-07:00

So this is Alatheia...and I'm "hacking" Amy's blog to post what she wants : ) So this is the post she told me to put up; [Ahem]

This last month has been a bit (Ok, a lot) of a struggle for me. On May 27th I was sentenced to 180 days of jail time, with 58 days good time and 11 days served. My release date is either Sept. 19 or 23, depending on whether I need to sit out a fine.

This past month I've really fought for my faith. My first week in jail was crazy. I thought a lot about what I wanted to do when I gout out of jail and i got all excited about the plans I was making.

These past few days I've done a lot of reading, trying to figure out how to be a better person and how to trust Christ. I couldn't figure it out...and then it hit me. I don't need to figure it out, I just need to do it. So now I'm swimming in uncharted territory trying to live fully surrendered to The Spirit. It's not about what I want to do (I. E. start saving, be a counselor at a camp, etc) it's about seeking Him...you know, like the verse, Seek ya first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you. I started reading through the bible a few weeks ago but stopped because I was just trying to get the bible read before I got out. This last week I started seeking God's kingdom first and I've read so much but gained even more. More than I have in a really long time.

There are six things I've been seeing over and over these past few weeks;

#1) We are to walk worthy- we are God's children and so we must not drag His name through the mud. We are to represent God, not our flesh. We will do that at times tough...I know i have...but that is where God's forgiveness comes in.

#2) Press on - Even though we fail we must still continue and Finnish this race. If we give up what would we learn? Nothing! I've found though that when we struggle with trials and get through them, we do learn things.

#3) Staying Strong- It takes work to stay strong to your friends and God...but it's worth working at!

#4) Worry about nothing and pray about everything- Regardless of how big or small you problem is, give it to God. You will be surprised at the peace He gives you. Trust me! It's not easy when those thoughts of doubt sneak into your mind, but the more you give it to God the more peace you will have!

#5) Walk in love- Love thy neighbor as thy self. This is one of the hard ones for me since I'm living with people it'd be easy to hate. But I've found if I picture Jesus standing right behind them...it's a lot easier.

#6) Seek after God- This is the most important, and all other things are just "time fillers". Our responsibility to seek God needs to be first and foremost.

So this is Alatheia...giving an update on the Amy person : )
ttyl.....

Its so Peacful...

2008-05-25T20:14:00.000-07:00

Sometimes......

All who sail the sea of faith Find out before too long How quickly blue skies can grow dark And gentle winds grow strong Suddenly fear is like white water Pounding on the soul Still we sail on knowing That our Lord is in control Sometimes He calms the storm With a whispered peace be still He can settle any sea But it doesn't mean He will Sometimes He holds us close And lets the wind and waves go wild Sometimes He calms the storm And other times He calms His child He has a reason for each trial That we pass through in life And though we're shaken We cannot be pulled apart from Christ No matter how the driving rain beats down On those who hold to faith A heart of trust will always Be a quiet peaceful place

Wow !! It was Sweet.......

2008-05-25T19:15:00.000-07:00

WOW !!! I know this does not do justice, but this storm was right outside our door.

This Last Weekend...

2008-05-25T18:53:00.000-07:00

Joe's Graduation (Anna's brother )

Wow! was it busy, but we did find a little bit of time to just sit around (after we had everything ready) but then it was back to work again,

For Anna it was tast testing,

For Betsy it was to turn around and say CHEESE.

And my job was to disappear, because I'm not photogenic : )

I found a sweet song ....

2008-05-21T15:05:00.000-07:00

I do not realy like the music behind the words, but I did like the song so I did put it on here. so here are the words to both songs. *note* you can mute the music .

Lay down my Pride By Jeremy Camp
Every single word I sayYou know it before I speakYou know every thoughtThe deepest part of me
You draw me closer than I seeYour presence is every thing I need to beThe child that you've created me to beI'm ready now to see it your way
I lay down my prideMy desires my demiseI'm ready now to see it your wayI'm done I'm thru ignoring you now it's trueI'm kneeling at the cross of your graceLay down my pride
I was faced with passing timeBut I knew the choice was mineTo finally come to youAnd give you all controlI've wandered miles to find my wayAnd then you revealed this simple faithI know that you can see the secrets of my soul
The cross the blood you shed for meYour back was ripped and bruisedSo I can know your love
I kneel I bow to you my kind

Open the Eyes of My Heart:
Open the eyes of my heart, LordOpen the eyes of my heartI want to see YouI want to see YouOpen the eyes of my heart, LordOpen the eyes of my heartI want to see YouI want to see YouTo see You high and lifted upShinin' in the light of Your gloryPour out Your power and loveAs we sing holy, holy, holyOpen the eyes of my heart, LordOpen the eyes of my heartI want to see YouI want to see YouOpen the eyes of my heart, LordOpen the eyes of my heartI want to see YouI want to see YouTo see You high and lifted upShinin' in the light of Your gloryPour out Your power and loveAs we sing holy, holy, holy

Whats up next? ......Well.......

2008-05-21T13:43:00.000-07:00

Yea I do have sentencing in court this next coming Tuesday, I am a little nervous but God Has tremendously shown me that He is right beside me. This past week I have failed so many times, but through them I have learned so much if I could take them back I wouldn’t. So thank you all so much for praying my through.

Pressing over me like a big blue sky I know someone has me on their heart tonight Thats why I know it's gonna be alright 'Cause... somebody's praying me through Somebody's praying me through. It may be my Mother, it might be my Dad Or an old friend I've forgot I had But whoever it is I'm so glad that Somebody's praying me through Somebody's praying me through. Through the tears, through the rain Through the sorrow, through the pain It keeps bringing me through Over and over again. So when you're drowning in a sea of hurt And it feels like life couldn't get any worse There's a blessing waiting to push back the curse Cause somebody's praying you through Somebody's praying you through Someone got down on their knees and prayed for me Somebody's, somebody's praying you through.

Its May

2008-05-20T09:30:00.000-07:00

The Seward County hearing, that was scheduled for Monday, May 12, has been rescheduled for May 27.
My lesser offence in Lincoln, has been taken care of with a small fine.
This larger offence in Lincoln has been rescheduled for September, in hopes that I will be able to earn and pay back as much of this debt before the hearing so that I will get a less strict or better deal with the court and a better place on my permanent record.
I will be starting a new job next week with better hours (she will be able to attend church on Sunday now), and better pay, amd most of all a better invererment.
My Dad is going through some health problems. He just had surgery for skin cancer. Please pray I well continual to keep in good felloship with my dad, and pray I will start to have a better relationship with my mother and other family members.

2008-05-20T09:27:00.001-07:00

Me with Suger, the Larsens dog

The Family I'm staying with

2008-05-20T09:13:00.000-07:00

Paul, Timeka, Alatheia (and toe)

FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-05-09T19:32:00.000-07:00

YEAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm out of jail, I was bounded out of jail on Wednesday, spent the night with my parents, then I went to the Larsen’s house of whom I am truly grateful to them, for letting me stay at there home and invading it . I found a job at Village Inn, witnessing I loved it for a while, but then after a while I found out a curtain person was taking tips off my table so I told the boss and he fired both of us because He did not know which one to believe so we both where out. God thought me a lesson that day, it mad me understand what the people felt when I stole from them. So then I found another job the next day, working at subway. when I got the Job she started me off at $6.00 but about 3 days into working she told me she changed her mind and started me off at $7.00. God was so and continues to be faithful to me.

Oh! The dred for this day

2008-05-09T10:31:00.000-07:00

January 7,2008 This day in my history was a crazy day a day in my past I'd thought I would never see but God had other plains. This was a day in my life that change my life for the better. I was still on my way to Nebraska to turn myself in a I was on the plain to the airport in Minnesota and then I was off to Lincoln. There I was In the city I said I would Never be back ,but there I was. I was ready to go to the court house so off we went . At the court I had a bound herring and I went to the Lancaster county corrections jail and then the next day I also when to another herring for the next case in Lincoln, then was back in jail but on the sixteenth I was released from Lincoln, therefore I was transferred to Seward County Jail. The seventieth I had a Bound review which is a basically a bound herring, after the next couple of weeks of getting nowhere with the court I was released on bound, on January 30,2008 , YEA :-)

On the way to Nebraska

2008-05-01T14:13:00.001-07:00

Sunday January 6,2008 went to Eugene, Oregon airport. The first flight was to sin city, otherwise know as Las Vegas. I got through security but not very secure. As I was waiting to board the plain I was getting nerves, am I really doing this? Do I really want to do this? can I go somewhere else ? What can i do ? they where all gong through my mind, but I remembered what I was taught during the last month and a half, which was, when you get overwhelmed give it to God. I Peter 5:7 Cast all your care upon Him for He cares for you.

One month to go .......

2008-05-01T13:57:00.000-07:00

The highlight of december was the, New Years Eve party. The first time I whent to a ''party'' that was God honnering! what a blessing.

My First Dance

2008-04-28T12:24:00.000-07:00

November.....

2008-04-28T10:22:00.000-07:00

God had put my past on my mind, just by everyday experience I was riding home with one of the girls form fellowship and we had gotten stopped by a cop, I knew God was trying to get me to tell the Barnes about the warrants out but I could not, would not say a word. latter on latter on in the month Nay and I went to Camoes Valley church and I convicted but I did not what to say anything but Nay saw that I needed to chat so I said I was fine but after a while a cop passed up and I thought the cop was turning around so I blurted to Nay I HAVE WORRENTS OUT I don’t know what to do . and we laughed so the next day I told Jeff and Hannah and we came up with a plain. I would return to Nebraska and then go back and finish out the program out ........

On thanksgiving we had a blast!!! we all dressed up and we had a costume party and we squire danced, my first time squire dancing .........

2008-04-28T09:46:00.000-07:00

In August I had a wonderful experience working at the fair. I had the opportunity to talk with so many people. This one lady, I call her "Milly May", (I never had the chance to ask her name) and I talked for a little while but her family kept saying," Lets go!". She, however, just stayed and I believe she truly accepted God into her life. I pray for her as often as I remember her. She has had an impact on my life, she was somewhat slow and I wondered if she was understanding everything we were talkng about so I kept asking her about what she had just done and she told me exactly what she did, she understood. I however, was still not convinced that she really understood so later that night when I went home I was thinking about what I could have done differently. When I went to bed that night, I could not sleep so I starting praying for this lady and God, through Milly May, showed me that it was I who did not fully understand His love and His forgiveness, which I still can not wrap my brain around, but I have accepted it.
Later on in August I also had the pleasure of going to another fair for a week. I had a blessed time there as well, I got to know the Lilles better and I also was able to serve Christ.
P.S. Berea.... there where three Indians lol

2008-04-28T09:04:00.000-07:00

After I had settled in I had a hard time deciding whether or not to stay. On the easy days I wanted to stay, however, when someone brought up something that I needed to change but I really didn’t what to change, then, I wanted to leave, but I didn’t. I learned an important lesson, "To keep going", if you don’t, you will never change you will always run from your problems. So in the hard times keep pressing on, You will not be sorry, I was not! Actually, God blessed me! And he will bless you as well. He blessed me with a weekend off, it was the Forth of July!
The Barnes had family up and we did so much, we went to the beach and built really cool things. Well , I helped them, they really did most of the work. So now I'm reaching out to you to let you know I'm praying for you as you all pray for me.

Philippians 3:13-14
My Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended, but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press towards the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus .

Chapter Three...A new way of life

2008-04-19T19:57:00.000-07:00

The first couple of weeks in the program were an adjustment for me, I had never ever lived with that kind of Christians before. They lived out what they belived and they started to challenge me on my beliefs and my problems.... like deciption, that was the worst for me, but over all it was my lack of a daily walk with Christ. I also had to learn how to get along with others who had some of the same problems I had. I did write a short testimony a while ago .........Here it is ...
Growing up I had a problem with being honest. I lied because it
made me feel safe. No one would know what I had been through if I
lied and so I reasoned that they wouldn’t treat me differently. So I
learned at an early age to just keep covered up. This problem grew
until I just naturally lied all the time. I lied about little things and I
lied about big things. It affected all my relationships. I didn’t trust
anyone and I knew no one trusted me. Although some people knew
about my lying no one ever confronted me on it before, at least not in
a godly way. Eventually, this lifestyle got me into trouble.
I had no idea when I first came to Beth-haran that this would even be
an issue. I had been lying for about the past sixteen years and I
certainly wasn’t planning on changing that now. I thought that in
coming to Beth-haran I could just escape from my past and cover it
up. I thought I could start a new life and no one would know. But
that wasn’t what God had in mind for me. I saw, lived out around me
here, people who were honest. This was new to me. The staff here
was very concerned about my past and about my lying and
confronted me and together we began to work on it. At the same
time, I began to work on my relationship with God and get things
right with Him. He convicted me of my need to bear His character,
of which one attribute is honesty.
Now, seven months later, I can actually say I am learning to be an
honest person. Don’t get me wrong, I still have along way to go and I
fail sometimes. In fact, I think this will always be a struggle in my
life. The difference is that I have a God who is still working in my
life and a family now who will help me get back up on my feet.
When I blow it I have hope because I know that He is still working
on me.
As I am becoming less deceptive I am experiencing people around
me starting to trust me. This is also new to me. It is really hard to
explain how good this feels. I also feel more clean before the Lord as
I learn to obey Him. This is helping me to feel more accepted in His
sight.
I know I still have a long way to go. I am only learning to take little
steps in the right direction. One thing I’ve realized is that I had been
trying to carry my burden alone. It felt like I was carrying a huge
mattress on my shoulders wherever I went. When people wanted to
help me it was as if I was saying, “No, No, I can carry this alone.” I
am seeing the value of being transparent to the people God has
placed in my life to help me. One day I came across this passage and
it expresses the way I feel.
Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one
thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth
unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the
prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Let us therefore, as
many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise
minded, God shall reveal even this unto you.

Part two of my story

2008-04-19T17:53:00.000-07:00

After everthing settled down, I thought I had everything under control, God knew otherwise, I was sad, confused, and angry, among other things. I got a checking account but somehow I bounced a check and then, there I went again, I fell right back into my old self! After I saw how much trouble I was in I didn't know what to do so I ran. I traveled around the Heartland and ended up in Houston, Tx. After about six mounths I called my parents and told them I was coming back to turn myself in and so I did. Before I knew it I was back in Nebeaska working three jobs, and trying to meet the court's requirements. I lost one of my jobs and I got scared of what my probation officer would say to me because, the week previous to this, I went to ask Him if I could stop working a job because I was so tired, he said I still had to wait until I was off house arrest (in about three weeks). In a panic I ran back to Houston. I was there for about nine months and one day I was coming home from work, from a really hard day, ready to completly give up, again ! But, I prayed a prayer like this, " God, I can't do this! You have to get me out of this!" The next day while searching on the internet I found Bethharan.org. It's a discipleship house, so I thought I would call to find out more about it. What do you know, I filled out an application, I had to call back in two days to see if I was accepted and I was! The next Monday I was on a trian ......and Wednesday I was on a plane and Thursday, 5-3-07, I was at the Barnes'.(bethharan)

2008-04-17T13:27:00.000-07:00

Hello, I'm Amy , I'm twenty two, and I currently live in Omaha, Nebraska. I will not go into a lot of detail of my past, but here is what has happend in my life this past year. Well, first I shall go into a little about my life, for the most part I was born and raised in Lincoln, Nebraska. I was homescholled. I was raised in semi-christian family where we went to church, but it stayed there. We were what I would call sunday christians. When I was fifteen my brother, Jeremy was called home to be with His creaater. He had three daughters and just a month after he went home his son was born, and of course a wife. That created a lot of feelings in me that I did not know how to handle, I had gotten in with the wrong people, and then gotten into a bad habit of writing bad checks to cover the previous check, and finnaly I was caught. I was arrested and was put on probation, after a while I moved to a small town in Nebraska and met Steve and spent all my time with him. Before I knew it , we where married. We moved to Phoniex, Airzona
and we where happy!!! One day out of the blue Steve didnt want to get out of bed ( it was weird, he was a morrning person) when he got up he had to rush to get ready for work. After he left, there was somebody pounding on our door, I could not answer it, I did not know who it was, and I couldn't speak spanish, and we didn't live in the best of places. I never answered the door when I was home by myself . Well, the pounding never stopped, so I called 911 and the next thing I remember is looking outside and the E.M.T.S where working on Steve. That day was the hardest day in my life. I lost my Best friend , my husband , and the only person I thought loved me. Days that came after that were hard, packing up the apartment, making memorial service's things and so forth.

2008-04-17T10:43:00.000-07:00

Hello all ,welcome to my spot on the net.

This is My little spot on earth.